Thoughts Over Coffee

Rule 6. Ease into suave mode

So far we’ve already come a long ways, she first started to ease into the date and you made her feel more comfortable, then you put things on a level playing field so she’s pursuing you as much as you are her. Now you gradually want to do the incredibly corny thing and start being slightly more suave. In between this you could say do dinner or something else, or you could transition straight to rule 6, depending on how you feel. So here you’ll want to use less creative things and just go straight for more traditional, pulling out some of her answers from rule 1 would probably be a good idea.

Basic ideas might be, 

• Bringing a boombox and her favorite cd, and  dancing under the stars
• Packing a laptop and her favorite movie and laying in an open field watching it
• Beach/lake settings are always good too.

Really anywhere that would be movie’esque is good, by now you can get away with cheesy romantic, and in fact she’ll most likely love it. So if you think it’s a cheesy or sappy idea, it’s probably a great one.

So first a brief shout out, to Anna who helped inpire and in some ways contribute to the stages of snuggleage.

And now without further adeu, the first stage of snuggleage. In the first stage you will typically not know the person well, or are unsure of their snuggleage views. Thus as a result stage one is as a whole largely impersonal. The key to remember in stage 1, there is no face to face interaction so as a result this will most commonly assume the spooning position. In most cases it is the guy that will be the big spoon, because this is slightly more typical, and is usually not outside the norm for guys or girls. Though I’m open to hearing if girls commonly prefer being the big spoon, or guys you prefer being the small spoon.

Typically there won’t be a head laying on the shoulder at this stage of snuggling, as that would first imply more intimacy, and secondly it would get close to face to face contact which at earliest comes in stage 2. Head to back of head for this stage is possible, perhaps while smelling hair, but again this should be limited due to the initimacy factor of stage 1. Hand holding prior to snuggling is quite acceptable, however during snuggling hand holding in stage one is usually not occuring, and obviously hands should remain in largely unsuggestive places. Normally as platonic snuggling, or with a snuggle partner that is newer to the act stage 1 should persist for at least 1 night, and often times for several before proceeding to stage 2.

Step 5. Even the playing field

So at this point you’ve allowed the girl to have a great time and enjoy herself. You’ve taken the pressure off so it doesn’t feel like a date, and you’ve at least made some impression that you’re interested. In response even if subconciously she’s given the impression that she’s interested as well.

First before getting to step 5, I’d like to put a disclaimer that in many ways this is quite wrong. But it does work, and just puts you on an even field. Starting off the night you were full on pursuing her, and her guard was up, after step 5, it’ll be pretty equal she’ll be going after you as much as you are after her.

So step 5, after about 5 mintues-ish, let go of her hand, adjust the radio, and put your hand back on the wheel. Adjusting the radio in between this is quite key, because it doesn’t send a very clear message in either direction. So at this point, not all, but nearly every girl, well into the 90% of girls will start intensly overanalyzing.

She’ll ask herself if you wanted it to not be clear you didn’t want to hold your hand.
She’ll ask herself if maybe you just wanted to adjust the radio and focus on the road
She’ll ask herself if maybe you didn’t realize it and it was subconcious and might not be into her, even if you don’t realize.

So as a result of this she’ll start to pursue you just slightly more. She’ll want it to be clear that you’re either not interested, or that she wants you to show your interest now.

Step 4. Get her to show physical interest

After step 3 she should be starting to feel pretty comfortable, if done well she’ll start to completely forget she’s on a date, and she’ll just be having a great time. So of course you should plan a few portions to the date, so on the way from step 3 to some other activity you’ll want to have done a bit of work ahead of time. If you’re at all familiar with the favorite music she mentioned in Step 1, have some ready for the car ride. Don’t draw attention to it but have it playing lightly. At this point you should reach you’re hand out so it’s in the middle between the two of you with your palm face up.

At this point she should hold you’re hand, and if it’s going so badly that you can’t get a hand hold, then either you don’t know her at all, or you really need a shower. Either way, you’re not going to be getting anywhere tonight, so best just wrap things up sooner than later. But most likely unless the date is going horribly then most any guy should be able to get that.

The thing to note is that by holding your hand midway between the two of you with your hand open she appears interested by reaching out and holding your hand. Even if she’s not, because she’s the final one to make the effort it appears that way, and subconciously she’ll know this.

At this point just enjoy yourself, then we’ll move on to Step 5 soon enough.

Step 3. Throw out dinner and a movie

Every girl expects dinner and a movie, and I don’t fully mean literally a dinner and a movie, though that is probably the epitome of the worst you could possibly do. I mean, every girl expects you to try to take her out, have a decent time, and primarily you’ll try to impress her. The basic premise to step 3 is don’t try to impress her, let her have a good time. This is where largely those unobvious questions come in, you want to pay attention to what she says there. Its great if you can pick out something she would want to do but hasn’t gotten to in a long time, but no matter what you can use a fallback safe thing she tells you.

I can’t re-iterate enough to pay attention to the unobvious questions. If she tell’s you that the most random thing she’s done in the past two years, is randomly go out to a movie, then you probably want to play it safe. But if she tells you that 2 months ago her and friends were bored on a saturday and up and drove 3 hours to go to a concert, then drive back home after, you have much more room to think outside the box. You do want to do outside the box, but you want to stay close enough to her comfort zone that she’s not turned off.

So what do you want to actually do on the first portion of the date, fortunately or unfortunately, however you want to look at it, there’s no 100% answer on this one. I can give a few examples though,

If a girl played softball growing up through middle and high school, take her to the batting cages. She may be better than you, but this is a good thing. You’re showing that you really do care about her enjoying herself over trying to act all big and impressive.

If she loves board games or card games, pack all of her favorites, and take her to a park, sit on the grass and play board games. Extra points for you, if you bring along her favorite food.

If she’s big into arts/crafts, buy canvases, and supplies, and just plan to hang out and paint.

The options are pretty endless, but they should be based around her answers, not around a mold that you’ve already laid out. To wrap it back up, don’t try to impress her at the first part of the date. If you do dinner and a movie, and you open her car door, you get a brownie point. If you pull out her favorite childhood board game, and make her forget about all the worries in life, and that she’s on a first date which is generally at least somewhat unnerving, then you’re going to end up with the whole batch of brownies.

Rule 2. Ask the unobvious questions.

In most cases you want to gradually mix in a smooth transition from Rule 1 to Rule 2. In Rule 2 you want to begin to intrigue the girl, but also draw out other useful information here. Just remember, be fun upbeat, and slightly mysterious. Most of the time guys can nail down the obvious questions, but have trouble with the unobvious, because they want to play it safe, and while you dont want to go too overboard, dont stick to close to safe and normal conversation here either. For this rule to work in needs to be personal and fit with you, but a few examples of some that might work:

- What’s the most random thing you’ve done in the past 2 months?
- Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?
- Do you like penguins?
- What are your hobbies?
- Did you play any sports growing up?
- Do you like board games? What’s your favorite?
- Do you prefer boxers of briefs?

With the answers to these questions you may have to read between the lines slightly more. But with answers to these you should have everything you need for a perfect first date of seduction.

Over the period of the next several days I’ll be blogging what I have now claimed as Craig’s Rules of Seduction. Following these rules a guy should be able, up to a certain point seduce nearly any girl. In some cases even with the girl knowing the specific rules they still can completely work.

So without wasting any time:

Rule 1. Ask the obvious questions.

In large part you have to have information to be able to seduce a girl, each girl is different so certain things must go differently for certain girls. So the basic premise is that within, at most, 2 conversations you should be able to learn everything you need to know to successfully seduce a girl. This starts off by asking a lot of the pretty obvious questions when getting to know someone. Hopefully one can figure out most of these, but in case you’re a little stuck some might include:

- What are your favorite movies?
- What are your favorite tv shows?
- What’s your favorite food?
- What’s your favorite dessert?
- What kind of music do you like? Favorite artists?

This are pretty basic and simple, but nonetheless quite important.

So I’m walking through downtown Berkeley. Just picked up some good old McDonald’s fries and splendid coffee. McDonald’s coffee by the way is some of the best coffee you can get, it beats starbucks easily. So as I’m walking with my homeslice Geri, she asks for a fry. So I simply take a fry out of my bag and hold it up to her. To which she gives me a funny look, as if she can’t simple bite the fry out of my fingers. 

I mean you know a person for over 10 years, you take them skating on perhaps the first thing that could be considered a date at the age of 11, and they give you a funny look? So not a block and a half later, after I’ve proceeded to rant about how she’s apparently too good to eat a fry from my hands. As the conversation finally drifts on to something else I hear someone yell give me a fry. As I’m in Berkeley and this seems to be somewhat frequent, I just ignore and continue on in our conversation.

Only to have said person turn around and yell fry tax and start chasing back up to us. As he gets to us he pulls out cards, offering us one, for some sort of trick one would only assume. So at this point i reach in my bag and grab one of the fries, I hold it out to him, and he immediately, without hesitation, leans over and eats the fry right out of my hand. While feeling perhaps even a slight bit violated I was a bit more worried that my dear friend seemed off put by the fact of eating a fry from my fingers more so than a total stranger. Or perhaps it was the idea that I wondered how many fry taxes actually exist on the streets of Berkeley.

She does have a little preference,
but doesnt fully know what she likes
But maybe one day she’ll find it
And at that time it’ll all seem right

It’s not like she’s missed out so far
But there’s still plenty left to do
And normally she’s the one looking out
Not for herself, but usually for you

Or perhaps she’s just to much of a giver
To really stop, and put herself in front
And for tonight she won’t sleep lonely
But she also won’t lay with who she wants

And its not really even an option
For the miles that separate her other part
But with everyone nearby her
There so many miles further from her heart

Back and forth so close but yet so far
To wait for no end in sight
And for now it remains a quandry
Because the distance still seems right

Then there it is, warm and passionate
My tongue entangled in hers
So sweet and great, a moment of beauty
Then we depart, my lips left longing

You exit my car, as I sit
Looking on, not wanting for
The night to end, but all things must
It’s with you, my heart i’m starting to trust

I lay awake, considering my quandery
Falling asleep, to dream of the possibilities
It’s moving so quickly, where to go from here
Hoping in continues, and ending? I fear.

A day passes, and it becomes awkward
It begins to fade as fast as it began
I sit back, and I begin to think
My heads a mess, time to visit the shrink

Tim and I start to walk on our usual outing
Discussing and analyzing the woes of our life
Girls are so frustrating to us,
Yet, time again we still trust

Them with our hearts our emotions theirs
But wonder, what was that just happened? And
At it’s best it was wishful dreaming, but
At it’s worst simply a seduction