Thoughts Over Coffee

Rule 8, Make her seduce you

So you’re now 5-10 seconds into the first kiss. It’s going well, its been nice and light, with maybe a touch of tongue, but only a touch. Here is where we go back to something similar to step 5. After a few seconds just as both of you are just starting to get into the moment break the kiss. You’ll want to then just linger right there, at most an inch away from her. Just sit there and enjoy the moment, but also expect that it may be fairly intense in a few fashions.

Let yourself linger here for as long as the kiss was and perhaps longer, you want it to almost approach the awkward state. At this point you’ll want to lightly kiss her on the lips or maybe on the forhead and then lean back to where you were sitting 2 minutes ago.

Rule 8 seems simple enough, but the hardest part of it is most likely staying in control and not getting carried away, if you can do this, it will be the nail in the coffin. You’ll likely have given her something she considers a good if not great kiss, without you even realizing it, but you’ve also got her questioning again, and at this point she wants you, so she’ll try to get you. From here on out, just sit back and enjoy the ride.

Rule 7. Plant one on her

At this point things should be taking care of themselves. It should start to feel like a scene from a movie, not just to her but to you too. With rule 7 there’s no need to rush it, you’ve already caught her off guard, gotten her to express some physical interest, and now she’s in a whirlwind of a romantic setting. 

When you finally feel like either you can’t wait any longer, or that she’s had to wait plenty long enough, lean in an get your first kiss with her. But guys to give fair warning here, refrain as much as possible from what you want, try to be controlled and suave. This shouldn’t be at all rehearsed, but something to the effect of leaning over, brushing hair back behind the ear, and slowly leaning in would usually work pretty well. Couple things of note here, you want to still leave some things open to mystery here, so guys if you’re going to use a bit of tongue, only do this at the end and keep it light.

Rule 7 should seem pretty simple enough and it is, the hardest part is just being cool and reserved during it. The keys to rule 7 come in that basic point, and the surrounding two rules.

Rule 6. Ease into suave mode

So far we’ve already come a long ways, she first started to ease into the date and you made her feel more comfortable, then you put things on a level playing field so she’s pursuing you as much as you are her. Now you gradually want to do the incredibly corny thing and start being slightly more suave. In between this you could say do dinner or something else, or you could transition straight to rule 6, depending on how you feel. So here you’ll want to use less creative things and just go straight for more traditional, pulling out some of her answers from rule 1 would probably be a good idea.

Basic ideas might be, 

• Bringing a boombox and her favorite cd, and  dancing under the stars
• Packing a laptop and her favorite movie and laying in an open field watching it
• Beach/lake settings are always good too.

Really anywhere that would be movie’esque is good, by now you can get away with cheesy romantic, and in fact she’ll most likely love it. So if you think it’s a cheesy or sappy idea, it’s probably a great one.

Step 5. Even the playing field

So at this point you’ve allowed the girl to have a great time and enjoy herself. You’ve taken the pressure off so it doesn’t feel like a date, and you’ve at least made some impression that you’re interested. In response even if subconciously she’s given the impression that she’s interested as well.

First before getting to step 5, I’d like to put a disclaimer that in many ways this is quite wrong. But it does work, and just puts you on an even field. Starting off the night you were full on pursuing her, and her guard was up, after step 5, it’ll be pretty equal she’ll be going after you as much as you are after her.

So step 5, after about 5 mintues-ish, let go of her hand, adjust the radio, and put your hand back on the wheel. Adjusting the radio in between this is quite key, because it doesn’t send a very clear message in either direction. So at this point, not all, but nearly every girl, well into the 90% of girls will start intensly overanalyzing.

She’ll ask herself if you wanted it to not be clear you didn’t want to hold your hand.
She’ll ask herself if maybe you just wanted to adjust the radio and focus on the road
She’ll ask herself if maybe you didn’t realize it and it was subconcious and might not be into her, even if you don’t realize.

So as a result of this she’ll start to pursue you just slightly more. She’ll want it to be clear that you’re either not interested, or that she wants you to show your interest now.

Step 4. Get her to show physical interest

After step 3 she should be starting to feel pretty comfortable, if done well she’ll start to completely forget she’s on a date, and she’ll just be having a great time. So of course you should plan a few portions to the date, so on the way from step 3 to some other activity you’ll want to have done a bit of work ahead of time. If you’re at all familiar with the favorite music she mentioned in Step 1, have some ready for the car ride. Don’t draw attention to it but have it playing lightly. At this point you should reach you’re hand out so it’s in the middle between the two of you with your palm face up.

At this point she should hold you’re hand, and if it’s going so badly that you can’t get a hand hold, then either you don’t know her at all, or you really need a shower. Either way, you’re not going to be getting anywhere tonight, so best just wrap things up sooner than later. But most likely unless the date is going horribly then most any guy should be able to get that.

The thing to note is that by holding your hand midway between the two of you with your hand open she appears interested by reaching out and holding your hand. Even if she’s not, because she’s the final one to make the effort it appears that way, and subconciously she’ll know this.

At this point just enjoy yourself, then we’ll move on to Step 5 soon enough.

Step 3. Throw out dinner and a movie

Every girl expects dinner and a movie, and I don’t fully mean literally a dinner and a movie, though that is probably the epitome of the worst you could possibly do. I mean, every girl expects you to try to take her out, have a decent time, and primarily you’ll try to impress her. The basic premise to step 3 is don’t try to impress her, let her have a good time. This is where largely those unobvious questions come in, you want to pay attention to what she says there. Its great if you can pick out something she would want to do but hasn’t gotten to in a long time, but no matter what you can use a fallback safe thing she tells you.

I can’t re-iterate enough to pay attention to the unobvious questions. If she tell’s you that the most random thing she’s done in the past two years, is randomly go out to a movie, then you probably want to play it safe. But if she tells you that 2 months ago her and friends were bored on a saturday and up and drove 3 hours to go to a concert, then drive back home after, you have much more room to think outside the box. You do want to do outside the box, but you want to stay close enough to her comfort zone that she’s not turned off.

So what do you want to actually do on the first portion of the date, fortunately or unfortunately, however you want to look at it, there’s no 100% answer on this one. I can give a few examples though,

If a girl played softball growing up through middle and high school, take her to the batting cages. She may be better than you, but this is a good thing. You’re showing that you really do care about her enjoying herself over trying to act all big and impressive.

If she loves board games or card games, pack all of her favorites, and take her to a park, sit on the grass and play board games. Extra points for you, if you bring along her favorite food.

If she’s big into arts/crafts, buy canvases, and supplies, and just plan to hang out and paint.

The options are pretty endless, but they should be based around her answers, not around a mold that you’ve already laid out. To wrap it back up, don’t try to impress her at the first part of the date. If you do dinner and a movie, and you open her car door, you get a brownie point. If you pull out her favorite childhood board game, and make her forget about all the worries in life, and that she’s on a first date which is generally at least somewhat unnerving, then you’re going to end up with the whole batch of brownies.

Rule 2. Ask the unobvious questions.

In most cases you want to gradually mix in a smooth transition from Rule 1 to Rule 2. In Rule 2 you want to begin to intrigue the girl, but also draw out other useful information here. Just remember, be fun upbeat, and slightly mysterious. Most of the time guys can nail down the obvious questions, but have trouble with the unobvious, because they want to play it safe, and while you dont want to go too overboard, dont stick to close to safe and normal conversation here either. For this rule to work in needs to be personal and fit with you, but a few examples of some that might work:

- What’s the most random thing you’ve done in the past 2 months?
- Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?
- Do you like penguins?
- What are your hobbies?
- Did you play any sports growing up?
- Do you like board games? What’s your favorite?
- Do you prefer boxers of briefs?

With the answers to these questions you may have to read between the lines slightly more. But with answers to these you should have everything you need for a perfect first date of seduction.

Over the period of the next several days I’ll be blogging what I have now claimed as Craig’s Rules of Seduction. Following these rules a guy should be able, up to a certain point seduce nearly any girl. In some cases even with the girl knowing the specific rules they still can completely work.

So without wasting any time:

Rule 1. Ask the obvious questions.

In large part you have to have information to be able to seduce a girl, each girl is different so certain things must go differently for certain girls. So the basic premise is that within, at most, 2 conversations you should be able to learn everything you need to know to successfully seduce a girl. This starts off by asking a lot of the pretty obvious questions when getting to know someone. Hopefully one can figure out most of these, but in case you’re a little stuck some might include:

- What are your favorite movies?
- What are your favorite tv shows?
- What’s your favorite food?
- What’s your favorite dessert?
- What kind of music do you like? Favorite artists?

This are pretty basic and simple, but nonetheless quite important.